AMA VICDOC_Spring 2026_09.09.2026 - Flipbook - Page 40
AND SO WE FRACTURE.
WE BECOME CLINICIANS IN
ONE SPACE, AND OUR TRUE
SELVES IN ANOTHER. WE LEARN
WHICH PARTS CAN CROSS THAT
BOUNDARY, AND WHICH MUST
REMAIN OUTSIDE. OVER TIME,
THE EFFORT OF MAINTAINING
THAT DIVIDE BECOMES
INVISIBLE, EVEN TO US.”
The rare moments of rest we find within
What followed, however, landed with
healthcare are often spent alone, perched
force. Beyond our pivot into challenging
in cramped corners, eating half-reheated
presumptions and beliefs, sat something
leftovers in one hand, awkwardly pressing
far sadder. My colleague’s words, as
keys on a keyboard with the other.
we prepared to discard what remained
Ours is a culture that prizes sacrifice,
of our lunch, hit me with a sudden,
perfection and quiet endurance. Especially
distorting impact.
over lunch.
But this lunchtime stood apart. By some
strange coincidence, a colleague and
“I’VE NEVER FELT SAFE TO
TALK ABOUT THIS AT WORK.”
I decided to sit together. My leftovers
remained half-reheated, but it was a nice
40
change otherwise. Somewhere between
That hit home with the accumulated
the small talk and the clinical shorthand,
weight of an entire system that, for a
the conversation tipped into something
moment, made itself known all at once.
more human. Into life beyond healthcare.
Not because of some shameful secret.
Into politics. Into identity. Into an
Not an admonishment of some mistake or
exploration of our culture more broadly.
error. No, it was the weight of a system
A shared examination of genuinely
holding a woman back from sharing a
informed perspective and opinion.
glimpse into her identity. From sharing
A conversation of respect despite
a part she’d felt safer keeping hidden.
complexity. One that tolerated ambiguity
A persistent pressure to edit herself at work.
through a bidirectional curiosity in the
Not explicitly. Not overtly. But in a manner
space between care and culture.
sufficient to give her pause. Every time.
